There’s a particular type of Cambridge-oid that I particularly despise. It’s the late 40’s husband and wife brought up in middle class England and who clearly have never suffered any hardship and so focus their entire lives on trivialities. They are so easy to spot:

* Cars – he absolutely will drive an Audi. Depending on their economic circumstances, largely dictated by which University their 2.5 children go to, she will either drive a Golf, perhaps his old Audi, or if she is going through a midlife crisis (fancies the checkout guy at Waitrose, as the milkman would be too common) maybe a Mini Cooper.

* Shopping – John Lewis is their equivalent of Mecca. Every Saturday without fail they will go and ‘pray’. Perhaps discussing with the lady in the TV department who has work their for years about the latest Sony TV. Sainsburys for food shopping, Waitrose for special occasions. She recently has started going to some of the more fashionable shops. Still looks like a horse though.

* Jobs – He’ll have a middle management job, she’s never worked since they got married. Helps keep Cambridge shops on HST (Housewife Standard Time).

* He will absolutely play golf.

This morning on the train was a perfect example of how they think. Sitting on the train they walked through the carriage and she was making comments about the seats and the state of the train. He makes a comment ‘only 4 carriages, what a disgrace’. Clearly they don’t do train travel much. I felt like saying “it’s 9:25 on a Sunday morning, 4 carriages is sensible, only the Royal Family get a carriage to themselves, oh and shouldn’t you be at church?”.

I’m irritated…