Monday, May 27th, 2024

Grumpy *young* man


Large lunch today, so decided to try and skip dinner. Of course watching TV I see an ad for bacon and the hunger sets in. Decide that I will do bacon for breakfast tomorrow, so instead think ‘chips’. I call the local kebab shop (2 mins walk away) and order, told 10 mins. I’m thinking to myself “shall I risk going round in my PJs ?”, then decided that what with having to put socks on both feet (2 movements of effort) it makes sense just to put on a pair of trousers (marginally more effort). That makes me sound so so lazy ! I look in my wallet and see £20 notes, dollars, and Euro notes, think that I don’t want to take shit for giving over a £20 for a portion of chips. I therefore raid the loose change tin, drawing 4 coins (fine for a £2 portion of chips).

I walk round, walk into the shop and view that clearly no chips are being cooked or are ready. I’m irritated, not helped by the fact that the guy serving doesn’t understand me, he gets someone round who understands Scottish (or more precisely can communicate in modern Britain today) and he says “oh, I’m sorry I forgot”, I give them a hard time, told another 5 mins. Thankfully I did wear trousers.

I decide to go to the supermarket to pass the time (kebab shop on a Friday night isn’t my idea of a social setting). Walk into the supermarket and decide to buy a beer. At the time I’m thinking “Christ, I feel like some sort of 15 year old, Friday night, I have £4 in my pocket and I’m hoping they sell beers individually”. I go to the chiller cabinet, Becks £1.25 – great ! Walk over to get paid, he rings the beer up, I reach into my pocket. Arrgh, I’ve picked up a £1 coin, a £2 coin, and a 50 cent Euro coin !, not enough for beer and chips :(. By this time of course the guy serving has rung the ‘adult supervision’ bell (as he’s under age) and I have a raft of assistants around me. I have to explain I don’t have enough money, feeling like a total down and out !

The chips were also pretty awful :(.

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